Neurotika Blog – Loss.

How in life we deal with loss and disappointment.  When we reach a crisis of faith we are faced with such a sense of anxiety. With loss comes forgetfulness and ultimately renewal.  But even so it’s hard to leave it all behind.  It’s true that we are always returning to what we were before.   With every mistake we come to understand -there is no future or past.   We only live in the moment -of immediate cause and effect.  We have no way to enact justice or even vengeance.  We live in direct response to what we experience. So loss is not a noun but a verb -it comes out of becoming.  And in all loss -there is the alchemist’s stone -what was lead becomes gold.

Art is a part of this transmutation.  Dead matter is infused with fire -and the husks that cage such sparks are burst asunder.   When the baseness of life is transformed and we mutate into what we will be -we use art to purify and to cleanse dirty feelings.  How we come to understand loss -as a good thing.  It is the stuff of the soul -and is exuded from our bones -to express the things we have once scorned.   Art is a thing of memory and a recourse to renewal -as we scourge our minds for that which is faded away.  We put down our craft -to be dedicated to Truth and to Revelation.  Loss is integral to such a process of illumination.  To have the courage to be the fool and to expose your pain -is indeed a vital part of living.  Not to fear consequence -to be without anticipation for reward or punishment.  To put it down -and lay it before that nebulous thing  -the audience.

How we arrive to a comprehension -and more is revealed.  How we know that all pain is ultimately narcissistic but if it is used with impunity -it is given to others as a selfless thing.  The nature of creativity -is to give with great generosity.  To pour forth the excesses of sin -is to redeem it with a quality of fearlessness.  And loss is a thing of intent  and will.  In the oyster is a grain of sand that irritates -to grow a pearl.  The soul is in the process of ripening -and in this way tension causes such growth.  To practice our art is to accept each problem as a solution in disguise.  To create is to pick the fruit off the highest branch -to reach up to its reality.  If you fall -that’s the price.  When you tempt disaster you are able to learn and to overcome.
In loss we are faced with an enigma.  This is the mystery that lies underneath all things.  If we surrender to such mystery -we are remade into a new shape.  It is said that in order to force the subtle energy into a form -the Creator used music to entrance it.  He drew it in -by enchanting it.  Thereby it became a shape -and filled the mould.  In art we emulate such a striving.  We take pure light and encapsulate it -as we make our expression -and music is the method of imagination.  How things regenerate -as we make them real – music is loss -and also sorrow.  How a young man celebrates as an old man is concerned with irony.  Irony is the acceptance of contrary things -as we put forth our acceptance of life -as it passes us by.  Too late we comprehend -for life and death are both ironical.  Loss is indeed a thing of such contradictions – we can only go forward when we affirm such an uncertainty.  We come to know -that we will never know.  We get older and we are aware that true understanding is impossible.  We apply our art and make it real through patience and love.   We utter the unnamable -and we envision what is without obvious character.  We pray and keep praying -as we conjure up ghosts.