Neurotika Blog – Ambiguities

I believe that forced energy is evil. Spiritual slavery comes out of the ego and its refusal to allow things to come to pass on their own power. This is caused by a belief in a master and slave mentality. One thing is better than the other thing. All of this is about obviousness and so called ‘realism’. But the truth is that life is always caught in ambiguities. Good and Evil are themselves illusions. Ambiguities are the state of the changing soul. What does not change will die. I am a million selves from one day to the next. I am not ever one thing or another. I am a flow of energies -and I commune with life in a reciprocal way. Ambiguities are what I express in my art -of the transformations that I cannot avoid. When energy is forced -it is degraded in some way.

To believe that we can come to a conclusion based on incomplete information is a misleading thing. We are never that sure of things. Art would ask the questions -but there is rarely an answer. Life is an unfinished endeavor -and we are always improving and rearranging its reality. When we make a choice -it is only a temporary enactment. In the case of mental illness -we are diagnosed as being delusional. But there is no way to fit in to a niche of meaning. To be deluded is to be part of an alternative vision -and to see things on the other side. Ambiguities are the children of the mutable forms of nature. We try to straighten things and to beautify what is ugly. Even so it’s all a mess -and there is no way to make sense out of things not held in stasis. To impose this rule upon life is like trying to stop the flow of a river with your hands. To pray is like standing by the well and feeling rain fall into your palms.
Forced energy is a strategy in which we simplify and reduce all things to an unity or a gross overstatement. When we exaggerate we form structures and systems whereby we compare things. We create a polarity where we are either one thing or another. This is why in esoteric circles it is said that dualities are a heresy. If all was that banal we would have no souls -only empty shells that do not express. When we create in art -we are rediscovering what we have lost. We remember how to pretend and to tell stories -something that is natural to a child. We learn to play again and to take part in games of fantasy and dreams. There is only one truth -and that is the belief that what expands is in the process of emulating what is good and divine. This is what comes out of the best in us -and must be valued as a spiritual ritual. It is not any different than a prayer or a sorcerer’s incantation.
Ambiguities are what bother the mind of a soul caught in mental illness. When you are insane or mad in some way – you are faced with the enigma of the dark unconscious mind. You are not certain and you have difficulty in understanding the visions that arise out of the emptiness. Mental illness is indeed a confusion -but it is also a transcendence and yet an acceptance. We learn that reality is so much more than just a series of events that follow a history of decisions. Life is art and this is not a way of knowing the difference between right and wrong. We do not merely face one way or another. Morals are only the floor of the house -and beyond this crust of belief there is infinity and complexities. In art we enlarge our knowledge -and what keeps us from this expansion is indeed the only enemy we have.